I first discovered the power of sharing my lived experience during a rather dull presentation I was giving for an NHS Trust. Mine was no more or less exciting than the others on the day, but I could tell that people were not really engaged. Then it got to the part where I had been asked to share my personal experience of challenges around housing and homelessness and I sensed a change in the room. People were engaged.
Traditionally, professionals stay ‘objective’ and keep themselves out of it. But this approach often fails to create a space that feels safe and authentic for participants. Conversely, oversharing can put an unfair load on participants and shift the focus of the session onto the facilitator. So how much is the right amount of lived experience to share?
Sharing the right amount of lived experience is a balancing act
Following my initial discovery, I began sharing my lived experience as a tutor at an NHS Recovery College, where we supported people in the community to build agency and resilience through co-produced education. I found that when I opened up parts of myself beyond my professional role, students were more receptive to what I was saying and more open in their participation. Over years of facilitating in different contexts, I’ve seen this happen often enough to be convinced.
As I was finding my feet with this new way of working, I sometimes overshared and saw sessions suffer as a result. I remember one session that accidentally became “An Evening with Danny Sherwood” as participants asked me more about my own experiences. As a facilitator, my role is to support other people in their interactions, not to make the session about me.
So how do I find a balance, that space between ‘objective’ professional and ‘subjective’ expert-by-experience? Different situations need different approaches, but these are some considerations that help me.
Some reasons that I share lived experience
Reducing the power difference. When I’m a facilitator, it gives me a certain kind of power in a room. This power inequality can prevent people from finding comfort, from sharing openly. Many people, especially people who have been historically marginalised, have negative experiences of relationships with people who hold power over them. Professional roles including teachers, police and healthcare professionals tend to erect a wall between their professional and personal identities. When I lower these walls a little, I’m able to reduce (not remove) this difference.
Opening a door for others to step through. Sharing lived experience is hard. As a facilitator, I have the opportunity to model behaviour for the group. I choose to share first to make it easier for others to join in. I like to start all sessions with something more personal, so we focus on ourselves as fellow humans before moving to business. I know from my experience of being facilitated that when we start the session with something personal, it’s much easier for me to say if I’m having a bad day.
Living my values. I believe that being open with each other builds connections that help us both feel better and do things better. The role of the impersonal professional has never sat right with me – it creates a power difference that can create barriers to working well together. So when I’m in a professional role, sharing my lived experience is part of living the world I want to see.
Some things I’m careful about
Making it about me. People are often kind, and I’ve found that if I bring something that a group member sees as a request for support, I can accidentally nudge them into a supporter role. My job as a facilitator is to give people space to focus on themselves and the group, so I aim only to share in a way that shows I am OK.
Opening up unhelpful lines of conversation. As a rule of thumb, I don’t bring live challenges to a group that could result in innocent questions heading into territory I don’t feel comfortable with. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which for some reason often leads people to suggest I try yoga! If it’s going to infuriate me too much fielding such suggestions, then I won’t share that part of my experience.
Alienating others. If I lead a session with strong personal beliefs, it may make it hard for those with different experiences and perspectives to feel safe and get involved. This again relates to the power I hold as a facilitator. There are feelings and opinions I might share in a setting where power is more equally distributed, but I try to avoid them as a facilitator, as my role can create the impression that my perspective carries more weight than others.
For me, bringing more of myself to professional roles makes me feel more authentic and happier in those spaces. I have seen a host of benefits for participants when facilitators share their lived experience in a purposeful way. Whether to bring personal experiences into public spaces always needs to be a personal choice. But at minimum I urge you to think about how you might bring more of your personal experience into professional spaces.
Co-create offer inclusive and effective facilitation and workshop design, online and in-person. Prices start from £1,200. If you’d like to discuss working with Co-create, please email [email protected] or book in an informal chat here.
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