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I’ve spent over 20 years working to engage people in shaping the services they use, from healthcare to education to community projects. I’ve seen the power of hearing people’s stories, learning from what they’ve lived, and building better systems because of it.
But recently, while working with young people around vaccinations, I found myself facing a very different kind of challenge. These young people weren’t hostile. They weren’t resistant. But they also didn’t seem connected to the experience of having vaccinations at all. They turned up, got their jab, and left. No questions, no reflections, no sense that this moment was meaningful to them.
It made me wonder: what happens when we try to engage people around something they didn’t choose, don’t feel part of, and maybe didn’t even want?
The space between living and owning an experience
We often talk about lived experience as something people can clearly describe, a story they can tell, lessons they’ve learned, things they know because they’ve lived through them. But not all experiences work like that.
For these young people, the vaccination process wasn’t something they’d actively chosen. It was arranged by adults, parents, schools, or health professionals. They were part of it, but not participants in the truest sense. They hadn’t been given space to think about it, connect to it, or make it feel like theirs. And without that, it didn’t feel like a story they could tell. It was just something that happened to them.
There’s a big difference between something happening to you and being able to speak about it with clarity or conviction. That gap is where a lot of engagement efforts falter.
Passive participation vs. meaningful engagement
In the first session at one of the colleges, I watched a group of young people enter the room, phones in hand, eyes down, barely interacting, and it struck me how disconnected they seemed from the whole topic of vaccinations.
And when I thought about it, I realised that in relation to the vaccination process, they hadn’t been truly invited into this experience; they’d been placed in it. That matters. Because when people don’t feel they’ve had a say, they often protect themselves by stepping back. Disengagement can be a coping strategy, not a character flaw.
It’s easy to assume people “aren’t interested.” But what if they’ve just never been shown how this relates to them? What if no one’s ever asked what they think, or how they feel, or what would help them connect?
Engagement doesn’t require passion; it requires connection, and connection can be built.
Using movement to shift position
When words don’t land, sometimes movement does.
That’s where I turned to something I’ve used in other parts of my work: sociodrama and action methods. These approaches let people explore how they relate to a topic by physically placing themselves in the space. For example, I might invite a group to stand where they feel they are in relation to “health decisions” or “control.” Some stand right in the centre. Some head for the corners. Some hover by the door.
There’s no pressure to explain why. Just the act of choosing a place, of physically stepping into a position, starts to shift something. And often, from there, we can explore: What’s stopping you from moving closer? What would help you feel safer or more involved?
These methods don’t require people to have the right words. They offer a way in through the body, a way to express, reflect, and shift. And for young people who’ve felt done to, rather than part of, it gives back a sense of agency.
We don’t always need the right words, just a different position.
Reframing what we mean by engagement
I’ve come to realise that engagement isn’t about how loud someone is, how many questions they ask, or how well they express their interest. It’s not about ticking boxes or filling in forms. It’s about relationship. It’s about helping someone see themselves in the process, even if just a little. Helping them feel like their presence matters, even if they didn’t choose to be there. Engagement doesn’t always look enthusiastic. Sometimes, it looks like a nod. Or a thoughtful pause. Or simply not switching off.
And maybe that’s enough to begin with.
Sometimes our job isn’t to spark interest but to make space, so that, over time, people can step into their experiences in ways that feel safe and real for them.
A call to listen differently
This experience has reminded me that not all lived experience arrives fully formed. Some people are still making sense of what’s happened. Some haven’t had the chance to reflect. Others have never been asked.
But that doesn’t mean they have nothing to say. It just means we need to create different ways in, through movement, creativity, curiosity, and care.
As professionals, facilitators, and human beings, we can start by listening differently. Not for polished insight or clear opinions, but for presence. For possibility. For the small signs that someone is finding their way into a story they didn’t choose, but can still make their own.
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